By Philip Yeung
The biggest and hottest story on the planet is not the Iran or the Ukraine war or the US midterms massacre. It is the Jensen Huang saga. It is Shakespearean on a galactic scale. For one thing, it has everything: sex, power intrigues, an alleged spy, and marital infidelity. Throw China into the equation, and you have the scandal of the century—the fall from grace of the tech alpha male. No Hollywood writer, in his wildest fantasy, could have imagined the same narrative.
Some, rushing to pass judgment. prematurely nail his Chinese mistress as a spy, claiming that Jensen has fallen into a honey trap, before the facts are established. The FBI, the DOJ, and other enforcement agencies have so far come up empty-handed. But that does not stop China-haters from milking the story for all its geopolitical worth. Marco Rubio is rumored to be the black hand that has toppled Jensen.
Strangely, for Chinese everywhere, this is a bittersweet moment. At first, we were squirming with scrotum-shrinking embarrassment, followed by a belated sense of pride. Down the centuries, the first Chinese businessman to have finally hijacked the world’s attention, Jensen has overshadowed Confucius himself. He has become the truly planetary superstar who is universally worshipped by either sex, either East or West, in and out of business.
The founder of America’s top tech company and history’s most valuable business, Jensen witnessed Nvidia’s market cap hit an all-time high at 5.7 trillion US on 2 October, 2026. More than money, he drives innovation in the epoch-making AI technology and sits at the slippery intersection of US-China hi-tech tug-of-war. He commands king-like powers in the pivotal industry. He is warm, charismatic and never puts on airs. Above all, he is unapologetically Chinese.
For 41 years, his fairytale, interracial marriage was the envy of married men. Then the bubble burst. Fellow tech giants from Bill Gates to Elon Musk are all sex-scandalized. But their skin color has left them relatively unscathed. Jensen, alas, is a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside. On this occasion, the outside is what matters. Even his race-neutralizing leather jacket can’t save him. Were he black, his sexual escapades might have been shrugged off as genetically preprogrammed, God-given and forgivable. In sex, being black may get you a break. But Jensen’s original sin is in being yellow.
Overnight, Jensen has fallen from God-level glamor into the gutter. In his darkest hour, he looks doomed for all eternity.
But Jensen has nine lives. The gossip gods love him, turning us into eager eavesdroppers craning our necks for the latest on his overseas affair, his second infidelity, and his third mistress within his own company. Late-night hosts accuse him of double-dipping his chips and of the unforgivable sin of “cheating on his mistress”. This otherwise good man can only blame it on his naughty manhood.
His story has so many layers that it is good fodder to the tabloid press.
As we speak, the complexion of his story has already changed, from his abrupt resignation to an open revolt by his employees, with 97% of them in a spontaneous internal vote calling for his reinstatement. Elon Musk, a veteran in sex affairs, sympathetically joins a growing list of some 120,000+ petitioners demanding that the tech king be returned to his throne, while luring him with an irresistible offer to jump ship.
Nvidia faces the wholesale defection of key staff unless their demand is met. Now the ball is back in the court of the board and of the public at large. He may not be pure as driven snow, but everyone says he is upstanding and swears to his fundamental goodness, his only imperfection being his romantic overreach. No one is perfect. He is simply too important to be put out to pasture. It is far too early to write him off.
Chinese pride has outrun Chinese embarrassment. He is, after all, the biggest banana in world economy and East-West rivalry. He is on the lips and in the envious heart of every thinking human being, especially his fellow yellow people.
We now know that Jensen only holds 3.58% of common Nvidia shares, which means that he can easily be outvoted and ousted by the board. Mark Zuckerbeg, being Jewish, manages corporate skullduggery much better. By instituting dual-class shares, his minority shares give him 61% of the super-voting power, thus giving him control over his own corporate survival. Jensen is misled by his ingrained belief in his own indispensability. He has forgotten Charles de Gaulle’s famous maxim, “The graveyard is filled with indispensable men.” If and when Jensen returns to power, his first priority should be to correct this oversight and restructure his voting rights. Founders may be flawed but they are not easily replaceable.
For 33 years, he has been the heart and the soul of the company he founded. His blood seeps deep into its DNA. No one can push business and the boundaries of technology better than Jensen. Nvidia shares plunged by double digits on news of his ouster. Shareholders, in a rebellious mood, know which side of the bread is buttered. No one wants to kill the goose that lays the golden egg.
But with Congress and the CIA breathing down his neck, November will be a long month for Jensen. Nevertheless, Nvidia is his baby. He is not about to stand idly by while they commit infanticide. Will Jensen land in purgatory or in paradise? No Hollywood writer can predict the outcome. Only an AI-aided Shakespeare can conjure up the denouement to this tragic-comedy.
The views do not necessarily reflect those of DotDotNews.
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