By Philip Yeung
On June 14, Trump turns 80, an age he disowns. He wants the world to forget his age, but not his birthday. In fact, he is choosing to celebrate it in the splashiest Trump way possible.
Last year, he marked it with a money-burning, toe-curling, banana-republic military parade. This year, the octogenarian is busy stretching himself thin like an octopus, hosting martial-arts fights on White House lawns.
Trump loves the bizarre and the brutal. That's why he considers the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) his natural home. He loves the adrenaline rush that combat sport delivers. He may mistakenly believe that it is an elixir of youth, when in fact scientists warn that it is an aging accelerator.
In many ways, he displays the many symptoms of someone who suffers from ADHD, which is described as a disorder of executive function, characterized by attention-hogging, selfishness, and an inability for sustained effort. That sets him apart from "Sleepy Joe".
As Trump enters his 9th decade, he goes out of his way war-mongering to prove that he is not "Dopey Don." But he will be the oldest president in US history by the time his term ends, also sweeping the honor as the world's most elderly leader.
In Trump, the world harbors a two-tier worry---his cognitive decline as his biological clock ticks down and his inborn instability that easily tilts the world into chaos.
Questions about his mental fitness have begun circulating, as no one can unsee some of the disturbing signs of his creeping old age—his slurred, incoherent speech and dozing off mid-event. When he threatened Iran with the destruction of its entire civilization, the world is shell-shocked by the ravings of an unhinged leader.
"Sleepy Joe" by comparison seems harmless. A raving lunatic with his finger on the nuclear button can be history-ending. People are on a roller-coaster over his increasingly erratic behavior or whether his on-again, off-again, war with Iran, is age-related.
The UFC bonanza is very in-character for Trump. This maybe "human cockfighting" street theatre, but Trump stays true to his profit motive. He couldn't care less that he is hosting the UFC event on federal property. That doesn't stop him from charging his deep-pocket patrons up to US$1.5 million for a cage-side seat. What's more, fighters will be paid in Trump's crypto coins. If this is not naked money-grabbing, what is? With Trump, there is a price tag for everything.
The only missing jolt of excitement is that Trump refuses to get into the ring himself, unlike Teddy Roosevelt who lost his left eyesight in a boxing bout.
Trump turns his relationships into a combat sport, hitting his enemies hard as a daily exercise. With foes from all corners, fighting them with venom keeps him from falling asleep.
When it comes to payback, Trump has the memory of an elephant. Just ask former FBI director James Comey or his disenchanted one-time national security advisor John Bolton. "Forgive and forget" is not in his vocabulary. Othering people and avenging perceived past wrongs is what keeps the fireworks crackling and his froth spitting.
Next year, if he survives the mid-terms and impeachment, Trump should try sumo wrestling for his birthday celebration, if his body keeps ballooning. Just don't pay fighters in the nose-diving Japanese yen. Or why not think big and cosmic by hitching a ride on Elon Musk's Space-X rocket for a history-making, one-way trip to Mars.
The oldest US president deserves the newest toy from the world's first trillionaire for his journey into eternity.
The views do not necessarily reflect those of DotDotNews.
Read more articles by Philip Yeung:
Opinion | The World Cup of shame—the beautiful game turned ugly
Comment