Hong Kong's renowned singer Eason Chan's long-awaited concert documentary FEAR and DREAMS: NOW is the only reality held its premiere in Macao the night before last. Despite the black rainstorm affecting both Macao and Hong Kong that day, it did not deter the audience's support, with nearly 7,000 seats packed to capacity.
Eason not only watched the film with the audience and shared his feelings, but the audience also laughed and cried along with him in a deeply moving experience. Recently, Eason revealed that he has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder due to performance pressure and experiences tension whenever he stops taking medication. However, after battling with the pressure, he realized that fear and dreams coexist, and he must learn to reconcile with himself.
This seven-year-long documentary, spanning over 180 concerts worldwide, captures precious behind-the-scenes footage of Eason's global tours over the years, while also candidly revealing the fear and anxiety he faced under immense pressure behind the glamour. While embracing "Dreams," he also wrestled with "Fear," using his personal experience to validate a life lesson—that fear and dreams are not opposites but coexist. After recognizing life's impermanence, he still chooses to cherish every breath of the present and move forward fearlessly.
The documentary begins with Eason being forced to cancel concerts during the COVID-19 pandemic. He candidly shares the hardships of being an artist—constantly fearing that he isn't good enough, saying the wrong thing and then being criticized, and sometimes feeling lost and unsure of what to do. He even shed tears during an online gathering with fans. The film also shows Eason lying in a hospital bed with his face wrapped in bandages and reveals that his emotional struggles began as early as his Hangzhou tour stop, where he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
At the post-screening sharing session, Eason admitted that revisiting his emotional journey made him realize some of his past thoughts were mistaken. "At 51, I think—why argue with others? Why fight with myself? It only makes things harder... There's no need to be so hard on myself. If people have different views, let them be. I'm truly grateful that so many people love me and that this documentary has been made, leaving behind a beautiful record. In the future, it can remind me not to be afraid or dwell on things too much."
Performance pressure triggers emotional struggles
The film shows that behind Eason's lively and carefree stage persona, he is extremely strict with himself, obsessing over every detail. Missing a single note during a performance would make him angry at himself, and even minor vocal issues would make him consider canceling concerts. These invisible pressures eventually led to emotional struggles.
"After realizing I had a mental health condition, I even asked myself… only now?" He admitted that he was initially very worried, but with experience, he has learned how to cope. "I found a very good doctor and am still taking medication, which doesn't have many side effects. I've tried stopping the medication, but my body told me 'no'—even when I was sleeping well and in a good mood, I couldn't control sudden waves of tension. So I've decided to only stop the medication after the tour ends."
Eason also confessed that his biggest stress comes from feeling his voice isn't good enough and worrying about affecting the quality of his performances.
"I wasn't afraid before—maybe it's because I'm older now. After finishing this concert tour, I plan to take some time off to rest and connect with myself, to reconcile with myself. Maybe I can return to being that fearless version of me. I have to remind myself that many things are beyond our control, so there's no need to panic."
Father-daughter collaboration depends on his daughter's decision
Regarding the audience's emotional reactions and tears, Eason said, "I'm just a person, too. I'm just speaking and singing on behalf of everyone's feelings. What I hope most from this film is to bring encouragement—you are not alone, and I'm with you." He hopes people can understand that no performer wants to deliver a bad show, and no one wants to miss a performance or face unexpected incidents. But some things are beyond control, and he hopes the public can be more understanding and forgiving.
When asked about his biggest "Dream" now, he thought for a moment and replied, "I hope everyone can be kinder to themselves, not make life so hard, and not obsess over too many things. Dreams are what give you a choice when you encounter fear—a way to balance yourself and move forward bravely."
When a fan asked if he would collaborate with his daughter, Eason said, "We've already worked together before—back in 2011 on the album ?. I'd love to collaborate again, but she's more advanced than I now—who knows if she'd be willing? Ha!"
Additionally, the ever-devoted Eason treated fans to an impromptu a cappella rendition of Next Year Today after the sharing session. The organizers also arranged a dazzling performance of 1,500 drones outside the premiere venue, forming various concert-themed shapes in sync with Eason's classic hits, leaving the audience with unforgettable memories.
The documentary will be released on Eason Chan's online channel on August 23, followed by pre-orders for the concert CD and Blu-ray.
(Source: Wen Wei Po; Journalist: Zitang; English Editor: Darius)
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